Over the summer Peyton and I have been spending a lot of time together in the car. Anyone who knows Peyton, knows he’s wise beyond his years. Sometimes I have to remind myself he is only 10. The car seems to be the place he does most of his talking.
A couple weeks ago out of no where he asks me why anyone would want to wear a condom. I pretty much almost drove the car off the road and wondered why they always ask me these questions? I had boys-shouldn’t they be asking their father? Nope-always me, always when I am driving, always when I am the least prepared. I muttled myself thru an answer of diseases, pregnancy, monogamy, abstinence, love, respect, blah, blah, blah – all the while trying not to throw up.
The next day around the very same stretch of freeway, he asked me why he had Muscular Dystrophy? Why his DNA was bad? Why he couldn’t run like his friends? Why he can’t be a normal boy? Why won’t he grow taller? Why he can’t eat what he wants? Why is he gaining weight? Why is his face so round? – It was a barrage of questions. Each one another kick in my gut.
Answers were fleeting. These are tough conversations no parent should have to have with their child. No child should have to think about. As he gets older and more aware of his disease I know there will be more questions, more difficult conversations I am woefully unprepared for.
That night as I was telling Ethan about it I told him – I think I would much rather discuss condoms.